What Do I Know?

Well, I think that I know all relationships are work. I don't believe you fall in love and that magical feeling of limerence will last forever, but I have friends that do and are either naiive or foolish in their thinking. I know some people blindly believe that true love will result in an effortless companionship that is perfectly in sync all the time. That's a nice fantasy! It happens in movies and books all the time. Unfortunately, it's also pap passed down to a society eager to believe it.

As a result, they're unhappy with themselves and with others, and begin to imagine, compare, or reminisce about what might have been or could be instead of investing in what is. If in a relationship, they fail to make something that they once felt was worthwhile into something more precious, or simply give up, because of this unrealistic view and often end up commiting some disrespectful act that hurts the very people they claim to care about. They give up a rare coin for a chance at what might be nothing more than a chest of fool's gold, which is sad.

I don't know what to tell them that they'll be able to hear, when the sad and/or tearful calls come in. They're convinced something is missing... well, yes there is. Effort. Communication. Patience. Understanding. Committment. As a friend, it's difficult to watch someone you care about turn away from someone they said they loved, superficially filling the holes with someone else or moving onto the next flirtation and objet de coeur -- to get their needs met. They are doomed to repeat this pattern like the repairing of karma in future incarnations, until they learn... and lose.

Then there are people like me. Willing to trust so easily, giving from the first spark, caring, supportive, and attentive. The work to maintain a relationship is neither a scary or insurmountable task. We expect there will be good, and bad, times and accept our responsibility and role in that. We hope we're wise enough to know when to give our lovers the space they need, and when not to withdraw so much that they feel you've abandoned them. We'll take your dark, bad moods and try to make them sunny, or just let you stew... as long as you communicate if it's something we've said or done, or not, so patience and understanding is key.

What do people like me expect in return? Well, aside from intimacy, we just want to make you smile, and for you to make us smile in return. Laughter and light whenever possible -- the bad times are a given and hopefully rare. Never having to ask if you care about or love us. To be your first thought in the morning and last thought at night... and sometimes in between.

How I thrill when my phone rings when you're just getting started with your day in the morning, and warm to hear your voice at the end of the night.