Revelation

For those who have been following my posts, here and on my Myspace, it's probably pretty apparent that I recently met someone, quite by surprise, more than a month ago, and I've embarked down that twisty path that might lead to a relationship. Some of you know that after the ultimate betrayal, disrespect, and lies I experienced with Eric, I swore it would likely be a cold day in hell before I took this trip again. I didn't mean it, but... it's what you say, you know.

Well, it looks like I bought a ticket. Question is... is it a one-way or roundtrip? Not knowing the destination can be scary, or it can be an adventure. The latter has always been my style -- traveling to the Yucatan alone, knowing only five words in Spanish, and to some of the more remote sections of the peninsula. Exploring New Mexico, Native American pueblos, and Anasazi ruins by myself, with just a rental car and a well-marked map. Breaking away at conferences to walk around in towns I've never visited. I like to see what's new. Apparently that carries through with people.

Though the adventure began in December, the previous weekend we explored it further. Chris and I share so much in common that sometimes it's freakily uncanny. Of course, both having been hurt by ex-loves in similar ways gives us an immediate common ground, and hopefully it's a lesson we've both learned that is not to be repeated. Both of us having been involved with people who have lied and disrespected us, as well as themselves (and their current partners) makes us wary. But we're also very loving and trusting too.

Our likes and dislikes criss-cross like meridians intersecting at key points. I'm surprised with the ease I find in our talking and being together, his voice a soothing balm for my frazzled days and sweet lullabye for my nights. And damn if we don't fit so well together when making love that I could not stop from remarking, very often, how right it felt... so different than with those in my past.

A small voice inside whispers loudly, "Too soon, too soon..." while another urges me to be open to possibilities and take a chance. All I can do is put my faith and trust in that which guides me, and not let my concerns block me. Or the lies and selfish actions of others who, for their own motives, would wish us unhappiness.

It's been nice to feel awake again, to physically and mentally stretch as though a long slumber has ended. To feel a blossoming like the desert after a monsoon.