I just love making my birthday last! The final Amazon box from Dad arrived yesterday and I'm happy, although, it's sort of like Christmas... once you unwrap them all, it's over. Thanks to the male parental I now have the 10-set DVD box of all the Star Trek movies, a glorious picture book of The Day of the Dead shot mostly in Mexico, a book called "Aroma" - authored by one of the nation's leading chefs and a foremost perfumer - on the magic of using essential oils in food and fragrance.
That coupled with a gift card to Borders from a friend allowed me to pad out my eclectic collection of reading material to include a lovely illustrated book on Saints - for which I have an odd fascination, a great color reference volume for designers - since I'm now working on two magazines, Ruth Reichl's second book (editor of Gourmet magazine), Amulya Malladi's new novel, and some commuter trash reading. That's to balance out pastry chef Fran Gage's "Sweet Quartet", "The Recipe Writer's Handbook", "Ambient Findability", and "Blink" - a girl needs some light fare to read!
Oh, and Hem's first and most recent CDs (www.hemmusic.com/index.jsp). Hem's song "Half-Acre" can now be heard nationwide on the Liberty Mutual commercials. I first heard the song about a year ago, when I was listening to Radio Paradise while at work (listener supported, no commercials - www.radioparadise.com). Burned it on a CD, had to burn one for the Brandy when she heard my CD, and then... hey... isn't that Hem's Half-Acre playing during this commercial? And it's not a sellout turn either, the commercials are very... human. Hem plays to a rare side of me, as I seldom listen to music that is this quiet and soft and reflective. My normal tunes of choice are more U2, Springsteen, B-52's.
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Friday, September 22, 2006
The War is Over...
Peace reigns again in the household. We both realize this is for the best. I'm just more into the Loft and being here, I like the urban setting and don't mind the slight isolation from neighborhood dining and cafes. We've even talked about setting up play dates for the two cats.
It's been an odd day indeed, and one that convinces me that some people just live in their own worlds, with a strange sense of entitlement, and think more of themselves than others. This was, but was not quite, a short subject of conversation between my friend Jean and I today, as I was telling her my woes, and she about hers. Jean is unique in so many ways, but, as I told her today, what I love most about her is her humor, and I like the way she looks at people and things. Why is it that two perfectly nice and decent people, caring overmuch sometimes about people, often find themselves bitch-slapped?
And that's why, when I try to be a nice person and create a bridge between myself and a distant person, I have to wonder how come, while I've acknowledged and in some case acceded his points, none of my points are equally valid -- except to 95% of the mature population that have frigging responsibilities! But hey, what can you expect from someone who is close to 30, rides a kid's bicycle, spends his days either drunk or high, and doesn't do anything productive with his time.
You know, if I keep posting like this, ya'll are gonna think I'm just a curmudgeon! Hi Keri! Arrr! Happy Wedding Day on Sunday, darlin'. Avast ye mateys and all that crap.
It's been an odd day indeed, and one that convinces me that some people just live in their own worlds, with a strange sense of entitlement, and think more of themselves than others. This was, but was not quite, a short subject of conversation between my friend Jean and I today, as I was telling her my woes, and she about hers. Jean is unique in so many ways, but, as I told her today, what I love most about her is her humor, and I like the way she looks at people and things. Why is it that two perfectly nice and decent people, caring overmuch sometimes about people, often find themselves bitch-slapped?
And that's why, when I try to be a nice person and create a bridge between myself and a distant person, I have to wonder how come, while I've acknowledged and in some case acceded his points, none of my points are equally valid -- except to 95% of the mature population that have frigging responsibilities! But hey, what can you expect from someone who is close to 30, rides a kid's bicycle, spends his days either drunk or high, and doesn't do anything productive with his time.
You know, if I keep posting like this, ya'll are gonna think I'm just a curmudgeon! Hi Keri! Arrr! Happy Wedding Day on Sunday, darlin'. Avast ye mateys and all that crap.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
The Saga Continues
Wow, I went from being awesome roommate and a great friend to a zero in less than five minutes, AND had to suffer yet another one of my roommate's uncontrolled screaming rages as well as personal attacks! Isn't that just awesome? How can I be such a terrific person and then be the worst... EVAH?
Apparently because I wasn't uber enthusiastic about the idea of moving, again, in 40 days, after she JUST told me she can't afford to move (and neither can I), and because I was honest in my concern about not being able to afford another deposit a year later, that threw major ice cold water on her grand scheme where she believes we both need to get out of our current living situation. As usual, it's all about her, what she wants and needs, when she wants it, what's good for her, and not about taking into consideration the valid feelings, concerns, and needs of others.
Here's a clue... I'm not the one having all the issues with the place, the people, or communicating what I'm really feeling! I'm not the one indiscriminately sleeping with virtual strangers because I had way too much to drink or snort. And then avoiding them! I'm not the one calling my alcoholism a "wine allergy" or downing two bottles of wine, alone, in one night. I'm not the one telling my roommate I haven't done coke in ages, when baggies of it have been hidden in a drawer for several weeks. Then later admitting to trying it sometime. I'm not the one lying to my boss about needing root canal to meet my married lover. Oh, and let's not forget... she doesn't like lying... but everything she says is a apparently a lie to some degree! Every potential situation and confrontation is designed around some elaborate fabrication to make her feel good about herself and her lying. Try telling the truth for crying out loud!
She's not honest about how she feels about anything, she's totally judgmental, she's tightly tied into measuring herself against other people and their standards, accomplishments, or material possessions -- to determine how much of a success or failure she is, and she's horribly jealous of what others have or do, if she can't have or do the same! I've never met anyone with self-esteem so low, or a need so great to be something other than herself.
She thinks she's organized, but she's a slob -- I'm constantly cleaning up after her. Actually, I'm constantly cleaning up this place compared to the THREE times she's cleaned anything else here besides her room since March, and ONLY then because she had friends or family coming over. Of course, I did the majority of the cleaning because, boo hoo, she works a 12 hour day and she's so tired. Oh, right, I mentioned that before!
She accuses others of being snarky and manipulative, when she's the Queen of Snark and Twisting Things -- by her own admittance! Yoo hoo, missy... didn't you just admit to me last night that the reason your relationship with Tim fell apart was because you played too many games with him and tried to manipulate him?
I wonder... do you think she even listens to herself when she talks? Nah... if she did she would hear how many times she's attacked me, how often she puts down what I like to do and enjoy just because she doesn't, how often she invalidates what I think and feel, and how often she belittles what I own. Why would I want someone in my life that spends all of her time denigrating not only me, but everyone else around her? She doesn't see it though, likely never will.
I'm astonished at her selective memory.
Does she forget that she told me it was okay to keep sleeping on the futon couch in the living room until the carpeting went in and I could afford a better bed for the sleeping mezzanine? And that she didn't mind me being out there, kind of liked having me out there -- as long as I didn't make it permanent? She even gave me a date by which I could continue to stay down there! What message was she sending to me then?
Does she forget that she was the one who changed the date of moving all the boxes down to the storage area, to accommodate her plans with her friends, to a weekend that I had told her that I would NOT be available? And then when I offered to move some down every night, she told me not to because, being the master organizer, she wanted to arrange and maximize the space? So wait, you schedule everything to meet your needs, but somehow I'm the villain because you rescheduled it, WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST? Right...
These are only two things on her long list of grievances, despite all the reassuring "I'm not mad at yous, you aren't in the wrongs" she's tossed my way. Clearly she was! Clearly, to her, I was! Clearly she can't friggng communicate!
Well, I will be a victim no more, to her out-of-control screaming rages that are verbally abusive. I think next time I will call the police, because surely all the neighbors that hear her will testify she was verbally violent. Not to mention needing medication and a good psychiatrist. I'm sorry, but I am not cause, dear... look within.
I know I'm far from perfect, and I admit my mistakes and errors, but I would never, ever attack someone the way she did me today.
Apparently because I wasn't uber enthusiastic about the idea of moving, again, in 40 days, after she JUST told me she can't afford to move (and neither can I), and because I was honest in my concern about not being able to afford another deposit a year later, that threw major ice cold water on her grand scheme where she believes we both need to get out of our current living situation. As usual, it's all about her, what she wants and needs, when she wants it, what's good for her, and not about taking into consideration the valid feelings, concerns, and needs of others.
Here's a clue... I'm not the one having all the issues with the place, the people, or communicating what I'm really feeling! I'm not the one indiscriminately sleeping with virtual strangers because I had way too much to drink or snort. And then avoiding them! I'm not the one calling my alcoholism a "wine allergy" or downing two bottles of wine, alone, in one night. I'm not the one telling my roommate I haven't done coke in ages, when baggies of it have been hidden in a drawer for several weeks. Then later admitting to trying it sometime. I'm not the one lying to my boss about needing root canal to meet my married lover. Oh, and let's not forget... she doesn't like lying... but everything she says is a apparently a lie to some degree! Every potential situation and confrontation is designed around some elaborate fabrication to make her feel good about herself and her lying. Try telling the truth for crying out loud!
She's not honest about how she feels about anything, she's totally judgmental, she's tightly tied into measuring herself against other people and their standards, accomplishments, or material possessions -- to determine how much of a success or failure she is, and she's horribly jealous of what others have or do, if she can't have or do the same! I've never met anyone with self-esteem so low, or a need so great to be something other than herself.
She thinks she's organized, but she's a slob -- I'm constantly cleaning up after her. Actually, I'm constantly cleaning up this place compared to the THREE times she's cleaned anything else here besides her room since March, and ONLY then because she had friends or family coming over. Of course, I did the majority of the cleaning because, boo hoo, she works a 12 hour day and she's so tired. Oh, right, I mentioned that before!
She accuses others of being snarky and manipulative, when she's the Queen of Snark and Twisting Things -- by her own admittance! Yoo hoo, missy... didn't you just admit to me last night that the reason your relationship with Tim fell apart was because you played too many games with him and tried to manipulate him?
I wonder... do you think she even listens to herself when she talks? Nah... if she did she would hear how many times she's attacked me, how often she puts down what I like to do and enjoy just because she doesn't, how often she invalidates what I think and feel, and how often she belittles what I own. Why would I want someone in my life that spends all of her time denigrating not only me, but everyone else around her? She doesn't see it though, likely never will.
I'm astonished at her selective memory.
Does she forget that she told me it was okay to keep sleeping on the futon couch in the living room until the carpeting went in and I could afford a better bed for the sleeping mezzanine? And that she didn't mind me being out there, kind of liked having me out there -- as long as I didn't make it permanent? She even gave me a date by which I could continue to stay down there! What message was she sending to me then?
Does she forget that she was the one who changed the date of moving all the boxes down to the storage area, to accommodate her plans with her friends, to a weekend that I had told her that I would NOT be available? And then when I offered to move some down every night, she told me not to because, being the master organizer, she wanted to arrange and maximize the space? So wait, you schedule everything to meet your needs, but somehow I'm the villain because you rescheduled it, WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST? Right...
These are only two things on her long list of grievances, despite all the reassuring "I'm not mad at yous, you aren't in the wrongs" she's tossed my way. Clearly she was! Clearly, to her, I was! Clearly she can't friggng communicate!
Well, I will be a victim no more, to her out-of-control screaming rages that are verbally abusive. I think next time I will call the police, because surely all the neighbors that hear her will testify she was verbally violent. Not to mention needing medication and a good psychiatrist. I'm sorry, but I am not cause, dear... look within.
I know I'm far from perfect, and I admit my mistakes and errors, but I would never, ever attack someone the way she did me today.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Is Mercury Retrograde?
Probably not, but it sure feels like it. The roommate's in another one of her contemplating moving swings and assessing her life again, which always means that I have to take some of my energy and spend it wondering if I need to start looking for another place to live (hello craigslist) or find a new roommate.
Hey, I know it looks like my life might not seem ultra-busy and maybe it seems that I'm just playing around when I'm at my computer (okay, sometimes when I need to think something out or I'm procrastinating, I play a game... but at least I admit I'm procrastinating or mellowing!), but then, I don't need to exude drama or manicness to make people believe I'm being 100% constructive with my time. I also don't need to complain about everything wrong with and surrounding my life, or feel I need to announce every action I take as if seeking some kind of affirmation that I'm being constructive and creative with my life.
Just a short rant today because, a.) I'm happy living here for the most part, b.) I'm fine with my life and don't need to live up to anyone else's standards, except mine, and c.) I'm doing 90% of the housework (sweep floors 3X a week, do dishes 2X a day on average, clean bathroom 1X a week minimum, feed and water cats each day, deal with cat box at least 4X a week) and pet care here anyway, so it's almost like living alone and not having any aid with household duties. I wonder if she even realizes that the only time she's cleaned anything more than the dishes has been when her friends and family are coming over and not inbetween?
Hey, I know it looks like my life might not seem ultra-busy and maybe it seems that I'm just playing around when I'm at my computer (okay, sometimes when I need to think something out or I'm procrastinating, I play a game... but at least I admit I'm procrastinating or mellowing!), but then, I don't need to exude drama or manicness to make people believe I'm being 100% constructive with my time. I also don't need to complain about everything wrong with and surrounding my life, or feel I need to announce every action I take as if seeking some kind of affirmation that I'm being constructive and creative with my life.
Just a short rant today because, a.) I'm happy living here for the most part, b.) I'm fine with my life and don't need to live up to anyone else's standards, except mine, and c.) I'm doing 90% of the housework (sweep floors 3X a week, do dishes 2X a day on average, clean bathroom 1X a week minimum, feed and water cats each day, deal with cat box at least 4X a week) and pet care here anyway, so it's almost like living alone and not having any aid with household duties. I wonder if she even realizes that the only time she's cleaned anything more than the dishes has been when her friends and family are coming over and not inbetween?
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