Berkeley Babblings

As I was walking down Bancroft Street enjoying the early morning and spring, with the cherry blossoms, warm sun, and scents, I reflected upon recent events and was surprised to find myself thinking -- in this glorious weather -- how much tolerance I do not have people who lie and engage in duplicitous behavior.

Sure, there's a reason that it's come up, and so's the feeling of being played and betrayed. Not to mention used. All I can say is, I'm glad I'm not someone who makes decisions based solely on the input of others, especially others with personal issues with me (come on now, it's so CLEAR to everyone else, why can't you see it or acknowledge the truth?). How many times did I offer, no, I asked specifically, for us to talk? How many times did you brush me off, or promise to get back to me... but you never did? If you really cared as you said you did, why wouldn't you be true to your word? Unfortunately, I'm not the only person you've burned, and one of these days, it will catch up to you. You can't continue to ignore issues. You can't continue to pretend that issues don't exist. Well, actually you can, if you enjoy living in that kind of a fantasy.

Once I decided this person no longer deserved my respect (since I apparently I wasn't getting any respect, caring, or consideration in return for what I gave out) then I was able to move on.

Work has been extraordinarily busy and for that I'm grateful. It's been fun to be creative again and feel like I have value, instead of being underappreciated and unthanked. Looks like it's going to be a regular gig that keeps me busy through the end of the year.

That'll finally allow me to upgrade my computer for the first time in about 8 years, and all good things come to those who wait it seems -- I've been offered a mostly-free trip to Iceland in August. Land of the near-midnight sun. The great golden orb will rise at 4:30 AM and set at 10:30 PM. I'll probably love it, since I love Daylight Savings Time. A small vacation, yay!

April Come She May

I love spring. Spring always makes me feel renewed. What I love most about living in California is that winter can seem like spring. After a summer of hot, dry weather and brown grass, rains in November bring lush greenery, camellias, jasmine, lemon and orange blossoms, acacia mimosa, roses, and the usual equinox display of tulips and daffodils.

The cherry blossoms are pink and fluffy, apple blossoms spun off the trees last week in the rain storms, like large snowflakes. Wisteria will peak this week, then disappear until its time for a second blooming. Loquat and mock orange are in full flower. Scotch broom is bright yellow against an almost jade green, and smells like lemon pledge.

I like only wearing a light wool shawl, instead of a bulky jacket.

With spring, I also feel lighter and more generous towards people... well, towards those that deserve it. I have a pretty short list right now of those who just don't deserve that generousity, because they don't practice it where others are concerned (unless the others have something they want or need). That's just a big karmic no-no in my book. But hey, if someone wants to take a personal issue and try to make it a professional issue, be my guest. Just don't lie to my face while you're doing it. I know the truth, as do others.

So I'll give my kindess and generousity to those who know how to return it, in the true sense of renewal that comes with spring, and try to understand those who can't give deserve something back.